Reactions VS. Responses
I talk a lot about REACTION AND RESPONSE.
Let me explain the difference between reaction and response in terms of emotional development. We'll also look at a few examples.
The main difference here is that a reaction is an immediate instinctive emotional response to an event. While a response is a conscious, considered emotional response to an event. Reactions are usually very quick and intense, and do not involve much thought or consideration. Examples of places we go when we are reacting are anger, fear, judgment, surprise, disgust and sadness.
Responses on the other hand, involve conscious thought and consideration of the situation and how to respond in a way that is appropriate for that particular situation. Responses require a little more of our time and effort, but lead to better outcomes. Examples of responses include communicating your feelings in a calm, positive way. Taking a few moments to think before responding. And trying to find a solution to the problem instead of just complaining about it.
So, how do you teach kids to communicate their feelings in calm, positive ways without losing control?
Well, it takes. Practice. And lots and lots of patients.
A great place to start is helping them to understand their emotions by learning to recognize these feelings in themselves and in others.
Keep encouraging them to take some time to think before they react and speak.
Modeling positive ways to express your emotions is important, too, so they can learn how to handle their own feelings in healthy ways.
Teaching them to use positive words and body language when talking to others can help avoid outbursts and encourage more productive conversations.
Finally, provide them with strategies that help them stay in control when they are feeling overwhelmed. Such as taking deep breaths, filling the chest and lungs, or counting slowly to 10.
Give these a try and with a little practice, you’ll be confidently responding instead of arrogantly reacting to all of life’s challenges!
